Plot?

Lou Diamond Phillips Fights a Ion Metal storm or somthing, because the sun can create tornados on land or whatever, the Tornado, despire being made entirly out of Metal like chainsaws and cars and things, is able to sneak up on people and terrorizes a small town in Kansas or Iowa or whereever. Lou Has to Team up with Not Dax, from Deep Space Nine, to stop it from killing the president, I mean Philidelphia. The tornado can follow Copper or Titanium or Iron, or somthing, and Lou fights a motorcycle and hooks up with a Dikey Biker chick, Meanwhile in Europe, they do the same thing again because the French are retarded.to stop the Sneaky Tornado they have to nuke it with those drones from Call of Duty Modern Warfare 2. And it works! in America atleast, but not In Paris because screw the french. Then Lou goes home with his wife? and his nerdy yet somhow hip son, and Metal Tornado is defeated forever...or is it? yeah it is, and if they find a way to make Metal Tornado 2, ive lost complete faith in humanity.